Our wedding was perfect.
We spent about 8 months prior to our wedding trying to make it perfect by society’s standards and to our friends’ expectations and suggestions. We went as far as making down payments for the venue, for the DJ, for the photographer and for the food. We sat down at a massive cake tasting and picked six wedding cakes (because why not?) and I even designed, bought and addressed wedding invitations that included a brunch the next day, hosted by us.
Right before the wedding, I felt way too overwhelmed- it didn’t feel right. I didn’t want to walk down an “aisle”. I didn’t want to entertain all of the friends we were inviting just because we had known them forever. I didn’t want to do any of it without my mom; who was my best friend, an amazing mother, and none of it felt right without her there.
I talked to Joaquin about how I was feeling as our wedding day approached, and luckily, he had some of the same sentiments. When we first got engaged, we both wanted to elope; but somehow the vision had changed over time as we told more and more people that we were getting married.
At the last minute, we pulled out of the rest of our contracts for the wedding we had planned. I didn’t send our invitations. We went back to our original idea and decided to elope in the middle of a week in December, which felt perfect for US.
On December 13, 2018; we started our Thursday morning early with a trip to the Blow Dry Bar for my hair and a trip to Trader Joe’s to make a bouquet. It was sunny and warm in San Francisco, and we had taken time off of work for the next three weeks, so we were in states of complete bliss getting ready in the morning.
Around 8:45am, we arrived at the San Francisco City Hall to meet three of our best friends and get married. We signed some certificates, I filled out a form to change my name after months of internal debate, and we had a perfect, sweet, intimate 5 minute ceremony.
Our friends took videos and pictures, we laughed and cried together, and then we quickly thanked everyone and bade them farewell as we went back to our apartment and changed for our flights to Chile and Argentina; our three week long honeymoon.
We called our parents on the way to the airport and let them know what we had done- they were of course sad that they weren’t there, but they all said that they knew deep down the wedding planning had not been right for us. This was right for us.
It was, as people say, the happiest day of my life. I remember Michael Jackson playing in the Uber on the way to the ceremony, even though I can’t remember which song it was; I remember Joaquin picking out his grandfather’s tie that happened to match my wedding dress I picked out with my sister in Paris, I remember when Joaquin started to cry during our ceremony and I began kissing him as the Justice was talking, I remember the feeling of complete elation when we walked out of the courthouse as a married couple. I cannot think of anything more perfect than that.